suffering is grace?

I think I finally understand now.

May 09, 2026

Ram Dass had a guru in India called Neem Karoli Baba, and he always used to say: “suffering is grace.”

I never understood what that means.

How can you say that? Suffering is suffering. It derails your life. It makes you lose hope. Sometimes it’s so deep-cutting, you lose all hope. You can’t see a way out. Your world is clouded by darkness, so you can’t see light.

And then somebody tells you that suffering is grace?

Not only that, but he also said, “I love suffering because it brings me closer to God.”

That’s even crazier to me.

Because when I feel I’m suffering, I feel far far away from God. When I suffer I feel God the least.

How can it bring you closer?

Early this year, I hit a massive low point.

I felt lost, regretted past decisions, questioned myself, my beliefs, who I am, and my life path.

I was consumed by depression.

It felt like a downward spiral that couldn’t go up again. Just going down, down, down, and I didn’t know how to get out.

And now I’m sitting here, two or three months later, looking back with so much gratitude.

Suffering forced me to re-evaluate everything. What I want, who I am, where I want to go. It brought me closer to my anxieties, insecurities, and shame. Suffering made me aware of myself. It gave me a chance to course correct.

Now I can act differently, go a different path, and explore what I actually want. The suffering showed me what doesn’t serve me anymore.

Suffering brought me closer to truth. And truth is grace. Truth is God.

Awareness is a gift.

When you are aware of your patterns and who you are, it becomes easy to live a life you’re fulfilled by. To make good decisions. To be confident about the path you’re walking on.

The suffering I experienced forced me into awareness. It forced me to get to know myself and re-evaluate my life. And now my path feels clear. I know what I want. I know where to go. I have confidence and trust in myself, because I shed what wasn’t for me.

If it hadn’t been for suffering, I would’ve stayed blind to what I truly want.

Now I feel more aligned than ever before. My values are clear. My goals are clear. My life path is clear. In psychology, they say, “the more you live in agreement with your values, the better your life is.”

That’s what I’m doing now.

So if you are in a place where you’re experiencing deep mental suffering, it might be grace.

You might look back in a couple of years and be happy it happened. God wanted to lead you somewhere you don’t know yet. He wants the best for you, and he brought you suffering so you can course correct.

At least that’s my experience.

My gratitude for God and for life is immense right now. It brought me closer to myself, and it wouldn’t have happened otherwise.